Missing my children

You know, although I have come to appreciate the space that a weekend to myself gives me, I loathe coming home from work and not having my children around me. The house is an empty shell without them. I had just missed them since they had stopped by on their way to their father's to pick up some stuff. They left me a loving note. I was desolate to think that 5 minutes earlier and I could have hugged them close before they went off. I talked to them on the phone but it's not the same. Does this shared custody stuff get any easier? My youngest daughter writes me lots of notes "Dear Mummy, I love you. Do you love me?" I write her notes and occasionally put them in her lunchbox. When she is cross she sometimes writes "I hate you" notes but the loving ones are more frequent. Last year I got one in the post "Dear Mummy. Thank you for letting us get our ears pierced. Love I and S xxx". They had nagged me for months on the great ear piercing. On our big trip back to England for my dad's 80th, Anne introduced them to Claire's Accessories - pavilion of wonder for the 7-17 year old including many ear-rings. When we were in New York the most exciting thing after the Tenement Museum was spotting a Claire's Accessories. In November, I had a trip planned to the US. Unfortunately, their father then also ended up having to be out of the country and we both missed my younger daughter's school concert. The beloved Mary was there but out of pure guilt, I told them they could get their ears pierced as a make-up. It worked and I was forgiven. The office was empty today. I had a photo pass taken at a customer site. I look dreadful in the photo even though I thought I looked ok today. Sort of Myra Hindley or Charlize Theron in Monster. I bought the ingredients to make a simnel cake but plan to do that tomorrow night with my lovely girls. They won't eat the cake but they'll like making the almond paste (and eating it). It's getting cooler. Still no rain. I'm not counting the ten drops that came down this afternoon. Please, please let it rain.

Comments

[Gianna]

i am dreading the day when Harley goes away without me to see his father. i was trying to imagine just now if he wasn't with me and i didn't like it one bit; i think i'd spend the whole time worrying about how he was. but i guess i have to get used to the idea. at least it's a way off yet.