I am so grumpy

I have been in such a bad mood all week and think I need to write about it to get over it. I've been off work looking after my children - I hesitate to say I've been on holiday since my older daughter has been completely tiresome all week and I have been a prize shrew. I keep reminding myself she is on the cusp of puberty and the sulky looks, moaning that she is bored, stomping and door slamming are par for the course, but I find myself becoming shriller and less tolerant with every head toss and sigh. Sometimes, in that idyllic nostalgia for childhood you remember the long, hot (or in my case in the west of Scotland, damp) days of summer and you think how wonderful it is. But you forget how dull it was when your best friend was on holiday, when unbridled tv watching had no pleasure in it, when your bike tyres kept going down and made riding your bike a drag, when your dad never got round to putting up the basketball hoop and bouncing it up and down the front steps made your mother furious with you, when it seemed there was nothing at all to do. I don't know what tricks there are to turn your child into a self-motivator. I worry whether this is a life characteristic or just a passing phase. And I feel bad at my own grumpiness in the face of it all. Of course, I'd be dissembling if I didn't admit my own bad mood is also fueled by the miserable prospect of doing much the same job for another year. I'm juggling the issue that to do another, more rewarding job with this company I have to leave this town and the ensuing impact on my children and their father. Not to even start to mention other stuff I don't feel like writing about in the rocky field of romance. Sigh. Note to self: stop whining and get a life.

Comments

[stef]

I'm not sure that all of us who keep an online journal only want to talk about fun things. I think it's therapy for ourselves to talk about things that affect us. You're definitely not a whiner. I hope that things get better or a new perspective hits you :) soon.